So, around 3:30 PM today I received the most RANDOM and AWKWARD phone call from my dad….my REAL dad. I haven’t spoken to him since Ethyn’s 3rd birthday, where he stayed literally for the birthday and left the next day. When he called I of course didn’t answer the call, because, well for one, the kids are taking a nap, and even with all this stuff on the walls this house is an echoing nightmare, and two did I mention that it was RANDOM?!?!
So, he leaves a voice mail, so I of course open it and listen to it because I really want to know what he has to say after 7 months of NOTHING from him. He tells me that he would like to talk to me, but if I don’t want to talk to him then he understands, and that he loves me. And he says this all with the most sincere sound in his voice. I disregard it as I will definitely have to think about this, immediately text my mom to figure out what I’m supposed to do, she of course tells me that I need to be nice. My father is not the easiest person to get along with, because he is both STUBBORN and since he is from a military background and has gone half crazy over the last 10 years it’s hard for you to fully get your point across the table without having it dumped over by lack of concern on his part.
But he texted me telling me that he knows that we have had our differences and that he hopes we will be able to find a way to move past them and that he does love me and that I’m his daughter. Then he went right to the Trent thing, about not liking him and not thinking he ever will etc and so forth, and I immediately had to rebut the statement of “Well, you may not like Trent, but you have to ACCEPT that he is my husband. Because I don’t like Deb, never have never will, but I sure as hell have to accept that you’re married to her”. And there were more parts of the text message that I just don’t want to be spreading all over the internet, but needless to say I feel like I’m in such an awkward position.
I have loyalties to my family. But the biggest loyalty I have is to my husband. And I don’t want him to feel like I’ve gone behind his back and hurt him by starting a new relationship with my dad. (There are plenty of reasons why I would completely understand if that pissed Trent off, and I understand where he is coming from). But there are times I miss my dad. I mean he’s my freaking DAD. I would spend summers with my dad thinking to myself how happy I was that I actually had a Dad that loved me and cared for me. And there was a time that my dad fell off the wagon, got completely wasted after 18 months sober, and told me that I was the worst mother and that I never should have been allowed to have kids. So, in all actuality it’s a double edged sword. Not to mention the fact that in 2009 he brought my stuff back down from Wisconsin, and he went to kick in the door and it popped Ethyn in the mouth (which still to this day is something that Trent will probably never forgive him for, which is understandable).
I just don’t really know what to do with this…I guess the ball is in my court now and I have to be the one to either serve, or let. Either way it’s going to be a hard, uphill battle. I just know that there are also other people involved in this situation. The kids LOVE him, and also I really miss my sister. She is literally my world because I don’t have any other blood relatives that I can reach out to, or that knows the love of my father, but her. And we are exactly alike in the way that we love our dad. And she’s only 15, and I want to be able to help guide her and teach her and lead her on the path of GET THE HELL OUT OF RICE LAKE, WI, go to school, get an education and RUN theory.
Again, do I serve, or do I let?
I’ll take Awkard & Random Moments for $1000 Alex.